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13 Reality TV Hoaxes You Totally Fell For

Admit it: you've been had at some point in the past, haven't you?

You thought what you were watching on reality television was 100% real, only to later learn the devastating truth.

We've all been there. And now we can all be here: relive the most shocking reality TV show hoaxes in history below...

1. Dance Moms

Dance moms
We’ll just let Maddie Ziegler, arguably the show's top performer, lay it right out for you, courtesy of an interview with USA Today: "The producers set it up to make us all yell at each other. You know how I said that moms do fight? The moms have a fake fight sometimes. Afterward they just start talking and laugh about it." Host Abby Lee Miller really does suck, however. that's not fake.

2. House Hunters

House hunters
Bobi Jensen blogged in 2012, on a site titled “Hooked on Houses,” that her experience on House Hunter was totally contrived. Turns out, the couple had selected its home prior to appearing on the show and producers even changed Jensen’s story over why she was moving.

3. Breaking Amish

Breaking amish
Can we change the title of this TLC series to "Having Already Broken Amish?" After the very first episode aired, it came out that most participants had already left their Amish family for the bright lights of the big city.

4. Storage Wars

Storage wars
Dave Hester, a prominent presence on A&E’s Storage Wars, left production and sued the network over the phony aspects of the show. He said producers loaded units up with items to give each episode an artificial angle and that they even funneled money to teams to keep each episode's bidding competitive.

5. Ghost Adventures

Ghost adventures
Ghost Adventures star Aaron Goodwin was fired in 2014 after he stopped by the podcast Are We Alone and explained how the network staged reactions, sound effects and other aspects of the program. He said it was "sickening" that he was part of such a "fraud."

6. The Hills

The hills
Lauren Conrad, Brody Jenner and other cast members have come out and said pretty much everything you saw on this MTV reality show as scripted. Shocking, we know!
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The Vampire Diaries Season Premiere Recap: Beware of the Siren!

It's been a long, uneven road, but The Vampire Diaries is finally approaching its endgame on The CW. 

On The Vampire Diaries Season 8 Episode 1, the search was very much on for Damon and Enzo. Bonnie was heartbroken without Enzo in her life. Yes, we know what you're all thinking: Why should you care about a couple who have only been a couple for a handful of episodes?

Yes, it's a little ridiculous, but Bonenzo are so damn cute together. If they don't end the series together, it would be a squandered opportunity to give Bonnie that happy ending she deserves. 

It's Feeding Time on The Vampire Diaries Season 8 Episode 1

Sure, Bonnie has to die for Elena to return, but if this show has taught us anything, it's that there are pretty much always loopholes to the magic in Mystic Falls.

Bonnie and Stefan teaming up to go around crime scenes seemed very similar to Sam and Dean from Supernatural. It was fun to watch them together, but it's just heartbreaking to watch poor Bonnie mope from crime scene to crime scene. 

The opening scene was very reminiscent of the first ever episode of The Vampire Diaries. The main difference was that Enzo was the one laying down in front of the car. However, both victims were not necessarily murdered by Damon and Enzo. 

They decided the best course of action would be to find out their victims' deepest, darkest secrets in order to make sure their boss got to feast on only the most wicked one. 

Stefan Is On The Case On The Vampire Diaries Season 8 Episode 1

It was a great tactic to at least find out some information about the people who were about to die. The odd thing about all of it was that Damon was completely care-free because he switched his humanity off. 

In a hilarious scene, Damon indulged in reading some Fifty Shades of Grey, before throwing Enzo into the disgusting pit of red water their boss, Sybil was hiding in. 

Apparently, Sybil would not show herself until she had eaten enough of the residents of Mystic Falls. She did not like being questioned by her two chefs, either.

When Stefan finally caught up with Damon, he was shocked to find Damon acting calm. Stefan's attempt to take him home was a complete dud and it resulted in Enzo and Damon holding he and Bonnie hostage. 

When they finally left, Damon revealed that he's been living in hell ever since Stefan forced him to drink the blood to complete his transition to a vampire in 1864. Yikes, talk about being honest and all that jazz. 

The truth hurt both Stefan and Bonnie, who set off back home, wondering about how they could save their loved ones. Bonnie realized that Enzo was leaving a trail for Bonnie to follow him. 

Bonnie realized that the two of them were under the control of the Siren and the description in the book backed it up when it described exactly what Damon and Enzo were getting up to with all of the bodies. 

Elsewhere, Caroline was doing some digging of her own and it involved her using a dude at work to decode the sound on a video between Virginia and Enzo. 

Seline Is Scared on The Vampire Diaries Season 8 Episode 1

If you recall, Virginia was the crazy chick who Bonnie was in hospital with in The Vampire Diaries Season 7. She warned Caroline not to use her two daughters to open the vault, or there would be consequences. 

Unsurprisingly, that rung true and she showed up at Caroline's home and murdered her hot new nanny. That death didn't stick and Caroline brought her back into the land of the living with the help of some vampire blood.

She then sent her off on a mission of her own to take the kids out for two hours. What was Caroline going to get up to in those two hours?

Interrogate Virginia, of course!

Virginia had other plans and as soon as she informed Caroline the new villain was after her daughters, Sybil killed her remotely. It was a pointless death for an even more pointless character. 

Caroline struggled to get in contact with Alaric, who was kind of busy in the vault with his two henchmen. They found a way to get through the walls. 

It was all pretty bizarre, but it paved the way for one of his employees to hit on him. He shot that down pretty quickly when he revealed the only thing he was focusing on was being a father. 

How very fatherly of him. Right?

Alaric & Caroline At Odds on The Vampire Diaries Season 8 Episode 1

When he got wind that Caroline was in trouble, he rushed to her home to help dispose of the body. He also requested to live in her home to be close to the kids. 

Caroline was taken aback, but jumped the opportunity to move in with Stefan so she could have snuggles on demand. The writers had better keep Steroline together, or we riot. 

If that wasn't enough twists for you, we found out that Sybil was now ready to kick off her reign of terror on the earth. Gulp. 

Stray thoughts:

  • The show seems to be embracing the end and that resulted in Stefan writing to Elena while Stefan was very much out of the loop. 
  • Damon had a dream of the first time he laid eyes on Elena. Could that flip his humanity switch back on?
  • Matt was nowhere to be seen. Maybe he's off bringing Sarah Salvatore back into the fold. 
  • The flashbacks were a nice touch, but flashbacks of Damon and Stefan in 1864 would have been better. There can never be enough of those. 
  • Caroline was as funny as ever with her witty one-liners. 

What did you think of the episode? Did it live up to the hype?

You can watch The Vampire Diaries online via our friends at TV Fanatic if you want to get caught up on all of the twisted developments. 

Farrah Abraham Watches Sophia Scream at Her Grandfather in Depressing Teen Mom Clip

If you watch Teen Mom: OG online, you know that Farrah Abraham is a rude, loud-mouthed, ignorant bully.

In other words, it didn't come as a huge shock when we learned that Farrah will be voting for Donald Trump.

As with Trump, Farrah's behavior might be amusing if she held zero influence over anyone else, and if there were nothing at stake.

Unfortunately, Farrah has a daughter, and as you can see in the above preview for this week's episode, that daughter takes many of her behavioral cues from her profoundly disturbed mother.

The clip shows Farrah's long-suffering father, Michael Abraham, asking Sophia to help him carry some things in from the car.

“Sophia I need some help, will you help me?” Michael asks, even going so far as to offer to pay the 7-year-old for a few minuted of her time.

“No, I’m busy texting my friend," Sophia replies.

"You don’t need help,” she adds.

Farrah Abraham Sophia Abraham Pete's Dragon Screening Pic

Farrah eventually intervenes, but only because Sophia's yelling is preventing her from concentrating on her "work."

We'll leave it to you to imagine what task Farrah could be involved with that requires 100% percent of her brain power.

She's probably trying to figure out how Facebook always knows her name like that.

Anyway, the matter is eventually settled entirely on Sophia's terms, as she agrees to help her grandfather only if the adults give her exactly what she wants.

Farrah Abraham and Sophia in Hawaii

It's like watching a 7-year-old hostage negotiator at work.

The episode hasn't even aired yet, and fans are already slamming Farrah's parenting - or lack thereof.

Obviously, this is far from the first time that Farrah's been criticized for allowing her daughter to get away with murder.

Farrah & Sophia Abraham: New York Fashion Week

Remember the time she signed Farrah up for Snapchat and she was immediately booted for messaging strangers at all hours of the night?

Or how about the time Farrah talked about Sophia's future porn career?

This feels like a good time to remind you that Sophia is seven years old!

You might be on a watch list just for reading that sentence, and you'll only have Farrah to blame.

Watch Teen Mom: OG online at TV Fanatic to relive all of Farrah's many parenting pratfalls.

If you're soon to become a parent yourself, take notes on every single scene, and by the end, you'll have a comprehensive list of exactly what not to do.

Kim Zolciak: I Haven't Had Plastic Surgery, You Idiots!

Kim Zolciak is, to put it very mildly, a piece of work.

She's loud, obnoxious, offensive, and those are some of her best qualities.

Another one of her charms? That special way she has of trying to make everyone believe she's never had any plastic surgery on her face.

Kim Zolciak Before and After

In this new interview she did with Entertainment Tonight, she listed all the things about her appearance that are fake or constructed by the expert hands of plastic surgeons. And, well, it just sounds wrong.

She started from the top, saying "We all know that I wear a wig, although I have amazing hair."

"I've done my lips," she continued, and added that "I've been getting Botox since I was young, for migraines initially and now it's the obvious reason."

"I've had my boobs done. I fixed by hernia and had a tummy tuck at the same time, you know, it's one in the same."

You might have noticed that Kim didn't mention anything about a nose job, or about any other intensive procedures regarding her face. Which is strange, because her face looks remarkably different than it did a few years ago.

Kim Zolciak Image
Kim Zolciak on Instagram

"Makeup, the contouring and what have you, definitely helps," she explained. "Why would I not talk about a nose job?"

We don't know, Kim. Why would you advise your own daughter to "try 5-10 penises" before getting married? Why do you do anything that you do?

Kim also said that as of right now, plastic surgery is completely off the table, thanks to that stroke she had last year.

"This is the other thing, you idiots!" she so adorably said. "You think I'm gonna have a stroke and then go do something? Go have plastic surgery?"

"That's really smart. You can't. I'm on blood thinners for at least another year."

Kim Zolciak in the Hospital

Yeah, you idiots. Do you think Kim is some kind of ignoramus or something? Do you think she'd be that stupid? Get real, dummies.

(Nice deflection from the nose job conundrum, right?)

In the interview, Kim also discussed another thing she's known for: getting into embarrassing, pointless fights with strangers on social media.

"I'm a Taurus, right?" she started, and so you know she's about to drop some wisdom.

"So I'll take it, and I'll take it, and I'll take it, when it comes to me, anyway. When it comes to my kids, you got about a very small window, and then I just blow up."

Brielle and Kim Zolciak on the Red Carpet

"It makes me so mad that people take time out of their day to write a nasty comment ... You're making a conscious effort, decision to type this out to me, or my daughter?"

To be clear, she's talking about her oldest daughter, Brielle Biermann. Brielle gets a lot of hate because she's just as insufferable as her mother, but as Kim tells it, it's because she's "very strong, very confident."

And as for her husband, Kroy Biermann, Kim says that he doesn't have any social media accounts, so he usually doesn't keep up with what she posts. That's how she's free to post nude pics of him.

"He doesn't know what I do," she said, "Until he gets a Google Alert."

Well, aren't you just a peach, Kim? What a real and true gem.

Snooki Flaunts MAJOR Boob Job ... But Are They SUPER Botched?!

This crazy boob job of Snooki's really has us on spin cycle. 

We're not sure that the plastic surgeon knew what he was doing, since he apparently gave her collarbone implants instead of breast implants. 

What even is this? 

Snooki New Boobs Photo

As you can see, if you can get past her face, her breasts are pushed right up underneath her clavicle. 

That's generally not where boobs go, even if they're super perky and you're wearing a bomb bra. 

But Snooki, as you know, has no chill ... so when the trashy Jersey Shore alum was asked about her preferences, she probably said, "The bigger, the better; the higher, the higher!"

She captioned the flaunty photo, "Just filmed my follow-up appointment for my new boobies!" 

"Here's my doctor who is amazing!" she gushed. 

The best part, perhaps, was the end, where she congratulated his skill. 

"Make sure you follow him," she said. 

"He does amazing natural work." 


Snooki VMAs 2016

When she initially unveiled the new tits, she said, "I'm one week out of surgery, so they are very crazy."

"My nipples are falling off."

Thanks for the visual. 

Her boobs aren't the only jacked thing around here lately, though. 

Snooki Weird Huge Lips Photo

She flaunted some seriously lop-sided lips earlier in the week, and slammed those on social media who didn't like her new look. 

Snooki snapped back that she'd gotten "slapped in the face" by an "octopus" while on vacation. 

Crafty, that trolly little one, isn't she? 

She continued her parade of self-deprecation - which is gads better than self-defecation - and said, "Frozen lips are in, girl!" 

Snooki Back In The Jersey Shore House!

Except no, Snooks, they aren't. 

And neither are huge, ill-placed fake boobs that look like they're going to choke the living s--t out of you rather than subtly sit on your sternum, all perky-like. 

But that doesn't stop Snooks from engaging in all sorts of deviant surgical behavior. 

This past August, she filmed herself getting Botox, and naturally, shared the video with all of her followers (who are these people, anyway? Who moved the rock?). 

"Today I'm getting needles in my face," she said. 

"Getting my first Botox in my forehead!" Snooki excitedly claimed. 

Do they do Botox of the brain? 

'Cause if they don't, it might be something to, you know, consider one day. 

Larsa Pippen and Scottie Pippen: It's Over!

Scottie Pippen has shot (down his wife) and scored (a divorce).

The former Chicago Bulls star filed for divorce from his wife of 19 years on Tuesday, with Larsa Pippen being notified of the filing on Tuesday.

The latter is best known for her stint on The Real Housewives of Miami, while also being a very close friend of ex-sex tape star Kim Kardashian.

Scottie Pippen and Larsa Pippen

The couple got married in 1997.

They have four children together: Sophia Pippen, Scotty Pippen Jr., Justin Pippen and Preston Pippen.

According to documents obtained by TMZ, there is a prenuptial agreement in place between the stars. So this should be a relatively amicable split.

Scottie even wants Larsa to receive child support for their four children, although the amount is yet to be determined.

Scottie Pippen and Larsa Pippen at the Derby

The six-time NBA legend and the former Real Housewives cast member were spotted together at a New York Fashion Week event last month because daughter Sophia was modeling in a children’s fashion show.

Both halves of the twosome were wearing their wedding rings at the time. 

But things change.

Back in 2012, for example, the Pippens talked about their relationship with Chicago Splash.

“There are times when it’s so good, and times when it’s [not]. But you kind of have to make yourself happy first, then you can make the other person happy,” Larsa said, while Scottie chimed in with:

“We’re in it all the way. That’s what makes it work, two people who are willing to commit themselves."

In recent weeks, Larsa had been seen out on many occasions with Future.

But sources tell TMZ that she and the rapper are not a romantic item. They've simply been friends for a long time.

The site adds that Scottie has been traveling a lot for business and the stars have simply drifted apart. It happens.

In response to this unfortunate news, Larsa has issued the following statement through her rep:

"After careful consideration and 19 years together, Larsa and Scottie have each filed for dissolution of their marriage.

"Although they are no longer to be married, Larsa remains hopeful that she and Scottie will always do what is best for their four beautiful children and jointly raise them with love and respect. …

"She would like to thank everyone for their understanding and kindly ask for privacy from the media during this difficult time of transition for her family."

We send our best wishes to both halves of the soon-to-be-ex couple.

Gavin Rossdale BLASTED by Gay Ex-Boyfriend

Gavin Rossdale is under fire for denying his gay ex-lover, cross-dressing Marilyn (real name Peter Robinson), and unlike previous times, Marilyn's not taking it lying down. 

In an interview with Newsweek, Marilyn slammed his ex, Rossdale, for shutting down their gay relationship, and said that he's not sure he ever even loved him. 

Marilyn Peter Robinson Photo
Gavin Rossdale: Operation Smile's 2015 Smile Gala

Though Rossdale initially denied that the two were ever a couple, Robinson insisted that it was so. 

He said that it was "crushing" to hear his beloved say such cruel things. 

"It was extremely hurtful to be denied," he said. 

"As Shakespeare said, 'A love denied blights the soul.' "

We're not sure that's exactly where ol' Shakesy was going with that, but okay, we'll bite. 

Gavin Rossdale Image

Eventually, Gavin admitted the gay fling in 2010.

Reflecting, Rossdale said, "I don't think there's anything strange about any form're learning about life." 

"It's a part of growing up," he said. "That's it. No more, no less." 

As to why he denied allegations to begin with, he said, "It felt like a cheap shot." 

"I think at the outset, there was a sort of fear." 

"That was right at the beginning of Bush, and I didn't want to be a part of it." 

"I never wanted to appear closed about it," he continued, "but [try to avoid] the glare of a tabloid world." 

Ha. Good luck with that one, Rossdale - you cheating, nanny-banging douchenozzle

A Gavin Rossdale Photo

Despite his admission of the affair, Robinson still isn't satisfied with the outcome. 

Though last year he claimed that Rossdale was the love of his life, Robinson's reneging on the whole deal. 

"I might have over-emphasized that," he said. 

"I'm not sure about that at all." 

"Hindsight is 20/20," he admitted. "I don't think I was well when I said it." 

Marilyn Peter Robinson Picture

He also weighed in on Rossdale's cheating, and said that he wasn't surprised at all. 

"[Their split] really isn't that surprising," he admitted. 

"This has been going on for years." 

"Gwen didn't want to know or acknowledge certain things about him," Robinson continued. 

"She wanted to edit his past, and he wanted to as well." 

Gavin Rossdale and Gwen Stefani Throwback Photo

"I think," he concluded, "the fact that Gavin couldn't be upfront about certain things was the problem."

"I would be suspicious that the person wasn't being honest with me."

"I can imagine Gwen would have a simliar problem," he concluded.  

So there, take that Rossdale - nobody wants your grimy ass anymore, and especially not the people who know you best. 

Justin Bieber to Concert Goers: Shut Up, Already!

Justin Bieber has made a transition.

He hasn't gone off on a cameraman in a very long time.

Instead, he's turned his angry attention to... his very own fans? Yup. It appears that way.

Justin Bieber Makes a Gesture

Earlier this week, while performing for a crowd in Birmingham, the singer got pretty annoyed with those in attendance.

He actually got upset with them for being too loud, for cheering too passionately.

"Can you guys do me a favor? Can you guys just relax for like two seconds?" Bieber told attendees, adding:

"I get it, I get it, but I'm like two feet away from you and I can hear you. I appreciate it. I appreciate all the love, it's amazing. But can you show it in a different way? Just try to show you love me in a different way.

"Screaming is just so obnoxious."

Yes, Bieber called his fans obnoxious. Because they were excited to be so close to him.

He even added, in an especially condescending manner:

"I get it, it's been in our blood and it's ingrained - you go to a concert and you scream and stuff, but if you could just scream after the song, enjoy the song, scream, it's awesome, it's fun and then take a chill pill for a second and listen to me speak.

"I don't feel like I'm being heard sometimes and it gets a little frustrating. When I'm speaking, I ask you not scream at the top of your lungs?

"Is that cool with you guys?"

We guess they should at least be grateful that Bieber didn't blow any snot all over them...

On Thursday night, meanwhile, Bieber was in Manchester, England for a Purpose Tour stop.

He was rambling on and on about how everyone has a "purpose," doing his best to be all profound and everything... when he once again got really annoyed at all the chatter in the audience.

He asked everyone to please quiet down.

And he was on the receiving end of some boos in the process.

"I'll just get to singing," he then told his fans, almost as a threat.

"I don't mind cutting the bullsh-t because I don't need to talk. I'm just trying to engage, but if you guys don't want to do that then we can just play the music."

Watch Bieber tell off his own crowd here:

While some Bieber followers labeled Justin as "rude" on social media, others stood up for him and vowed to respect his wishes when they see him in person.

"#PurposeTourBarcelona is approaching," one Twitter user wrote. "Let's not do this to him. Oh my god. We have to let him speak."

Oh my God, no you don't!

You spent lots of money to attend his concert. Go right ahead and talk all you want, scream as loudly as you want. You've earned that right.

If Bieber continues at this pace, he won't need to wear a disguise in public again.

Fans won't want to approach him anyway.



Jay Z: I Can't STAND Crazy-Ass Kanye West!

Lennon and McCartney. Jagger and Richards. Jay Z and Kanye.

Why is it that the best songwriting teams always start off with close friendships, and end with both parties firing hilariously bitchy potshots at one another?

For years, we were under the impression that Jay and 'Ye were the best of friends.

Jay Z and Kanye West Photo

Jay gave Kanye his first big break in hip hop when he hired West to produce several tracks on his acclaimed 2001 album The Blueprint, which is still one of the most highly-regarded hip hop records of all time.

The two went on to collaborate on dozens of tracks and one platinum-selling joint album, 2011's Watch the Throne.

But for years, fans have been taking note of subtle indications that all is not well between, such as when Jay and Beyonce declined invitations to Kanye and Kim Kardashian's wedding.

Most people who have been famous for as long as these four know how to keep their personal feuds private, but Kanye's mentality is that of a 4-year-old who's been handed a microphone and millions of dollars, so he slammed Jay during an onstage tantrum on Wednesday night:

According to the tirade, Kanye is pissed at Jay for a number of reasons, not the least of which is that Jay didn't pay him a visit in the days after Kim Kardashian was robbed at gun point in Paris:

“Don’t call me after the robbery and say, ‘How you feelin’?’ You wanna know how I’m feelin’? Come by the house.

"Bring the kids by the house like we brothers ... Our kids ain’t never even played together.”

A Kanye source ran damage control yesterday, not going so far as to say claim that Jay and Kanye are still friends, but insisting that "Jay appreciates Kanye's genius."

Jay Z and Kanye West

However, it seems Jay's team won't even grant that small concession:

“That’s just perception," a source tells Page Six.

"The reality is that Jay doesn’t want that much to do with him. 

"He likes his own space and is private. They’re very much not the same person. Jay’s immediate circle is very insular, and Kanye is just a guy who always wants something in the spotlight.”

Throne Watchers

A second Jay insider goes even further:

“Jay can’t stand him,” says the source.

“He looks at him as this crazy, eccentric motherf - - ker he can tolerate in small doses. Kanye is a nut job. Everyone knows that.”

Yes, it seems Jay Z is now speaking for all of mankind.

And for that, we thank him.

The Kanye source continues to insist that all is well between the hip hop megastars, issuing a statement moments ago, saying:

“It didn’t seem like Kanye was dissing Jay at all.

"They are brothers, closer than friends. Jay appreciates Kanye’s genius, understands his passions and eccentricities and is accepting of it all.”

Kanye West and Jay-Z Perform at The 2011 Victoria's Secret Fashion Show

Is it just us, or is this rep way too level-headed to be speaking for Kanye?

He could at least issue his statements in all caps.

13 Reasons to Be Glad You Never Slept With Brad Pitt

1. His hair looks like it smells like a frat house couch

Brad pitt wearing glasses and smiling
It's greasy, it's generally unkempt, and mostly slicked back with some kind of sticky substance. Also, it smells like pot, cigarettes, and booze. Basically, you'd be doing the dirty on - or worse, with - the old frat house sofa. Gross.

2. Alcohol has given him major face bloat

Brad pitt world war z set
He's still cute, but we're not talking Legends of the Fall cute, anymore. If rumors of alcohol abuse are as true - and as rampant - as Jolie persists, Brad's got some serious alcohol bloat going on, and what's scarier than wobby man jowls hovering over your face intently?

3. When he's got a beard, IT'S A BEARD

Brad pitt and son photo 2
Beards are fun, beards are great, beards like Brad's kill your ovulate. No, but really, there's well-groomed, and then there's flavor-savers. Anywhere in between is fine, but when he grows that goatee (or is that the entire goat?), the last thing we want to be thinking about is intercourse.

4. His mouth probably tastes like an ashtray

His mouth probably tastes like an ashtray
... Or a chimney. Whichever you prefer. And when you mix coffee and cigarettes, it's a double-whammy. Trust us. It's mega gross, unless you're a coffee-drinking smoker, and then this one probably doesn't apply to you anyway.

5. He slept with Jennifer Aniston

Brad pitt jennifer aniston picture
... And don't you know, it's not the cooties that are catching, it's the crazy. And Aniston is the cream of the crazy crop, and do you really want to go there?

6. Gwyneth Paltrow probably put a hex on his dong

Brad pitt and gwyneth paltrow dating photo
Being as GOOPy as she is, Gwyneth Paltrow - who once said that Brad was "too good" for her - probably put some kind of magic spell on Brad where his penis consciously uncouples from the rest of his body, thusly making the encounter an astral experience. Or in GOOP's case, ASStral.
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